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Update

How are you guys doing? Hope you are well. I know I haven’t posted in a while but that’s because I haven’t been like myself lately.. also I have my exams coming up in November and I am stressed owing to this pandemic situation. I am trying to make sense of whatever it is that’s happening around me. I really do want to post a blog but I just can’t seem to bring myself to it. Hope I get on the track soon. I miss writing for you and myself. And thankyou for being so patient. Send your best wishes to me in the comments. Okay bye take care. Thank you for reading 💕💕

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Talking about BTS

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The beautiful relationship.

One of the best relationship in life that humans ever make is friendship. It is the only relationship that we form based on our own judgement. A newly formed friendship has such innocent nature. It’s like the first bite of food that you are craving. It is so satisfying. You like each others opinion, each others personality and are really happy to have found each other.

But over the course of your friendship when you actually start getting to know each other, when you experience each others differences, you realise how different you different you are than similar to each other. Maybe you like those differences maybe you don’t. Because a friendship goes through all sorts of ups and downs. Every negative emotion, ego and obscurity is experienced while in a friendship. The possibility of two people notwithstanding ‘the storm’ in friendship is very high. What must be done when a time like this comes? Do you persevere or do you give up? It’s okay to do either of the two things. Yes.

There are some moments where you might not like each other or not want to be each other while in friendship. And all those moments are valid and justifiable. During such moments what’s important is that you try to understand each other. Yeah this sounds clichè, but what choice do you have other than this?

The truest of friendships have undergone have undergone various tests and maybe they have passed with flying colours. But there are toxic friendship too. These are the friendships where one person is the giver and other person is just receiver and nothing else. The giver tries to overlook the faults and receiver without any hesitation picks up those faults and then, somehow, in a strange way, makes you feel bad about having them. The receiver does not care about the consequences caused by this. It is a toxic friendship if this is a recurring theme of the friendship. Is it okay for such friendships to be continued? I don’t think so( you can have different opinion).

True friendship is rare but not evitable. Friendships are meant to be cherished, experienced in all their glory and if at all there comes a time in friendship where if you must let go of it, then that is what you should do. Because friendship in reality isn’t supposed to be a relationship that’s formed out of bounds. It is free. And it is the best.

Do let me know how you feel about this blog. Thankyou for reading. Have a good day ☺️.

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Struggles with myself.

Hello to everyone who’s reading this blog. This blog about me and my struggles with my own self. And what I do to cope up with the struggles. Hope you have a good read.

What I have observed the most of the time about myself is that I find it really hard to stay in the moment. To live in the moment. Why is it so difficult for me to do so? Why am I so worried about the very next moment? What is this unresolved anxiety and what is the solution for it? I am always spending my time thinking about what could have been instead of it just is the way it is. This isn’t just regarding my problems in life or with life, its just ordinary everyday things. It is painstakingly difficult for me to let go of certain things and what I horribly do is overthink about it.

Overthinking has always done more harm than good to me. It is ruined my life if I may say so. What is it that I can do about it? My anxiety has made me feel so alone despite being around my loved ones. There is this feeling of aloofness, of not being like them, of not being as good as them, or as happy as them and lastly the most terrifying feeling of not being good enough – not just for them but also for myself. How often I feel this is a testament to my depreciating mental health.

Having self doubts has it’s both pros and cons. Pros being, you are self aware of your own capabilities and you know very well what is it that you can do and what is it that you can’t. This quality, I assume is very helpful in life. Cons being the obvious. These cons, more often than not are the manifestations of what others don’t like about themselves. You have believed the negativity that they have fed you and it has been etched in your brain ever since. And slowly these manifestations have piled up and altered your thought process. It could be anyone, you family members, friends or even strangers. I write this with liberty that this has happened to me as well. And for the past 15 years since I have developed a world view , I have felt very out place around everyone that I have come across in life until now – even family.

But what I have done or am trying to counter it is that I am exploring myself. What kind of person am I , what I like or dislike, who I admire or who I don’t. This is helping me find myself. It has not been easy I’ll tell you that but I still strangely curious about the process.

Thank you for reading and staying till the end. I would like to know about your thoughts on this 😃. Do comment about them. Next part coming up soon. Stay tuned.

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Resurrection of thoughts

Hello to everyone who is reading this blog. This blog is about a series of questions I have had since I was a teenager. These are the questions I haven’t been able to get answers to. This blog may seem immature to some. Apologies for that. Anyway have a good read.

What is it that we as individuals crave the most? Is it happiness, money, sense of belonging, validation or immortality? What would make us most happy? And is there a guarantee that after acquiring even anyone of these is going to secure our happiness? This is a genuine question. There are people who struggle despite having these attributes. It may look all nice and merry on the surface level but what is it that actually satisfies our deeper self? Is there an answer to that? There is a reality that is bigger than me. Bigger than all of us. I am sure of this. But what exactly is that reality? And is that reality same for everyone or is it different for everyone since there are infinite perspectives on life. Is the reality good or bad? Is the reality tangible or intangible? Is it really like what the eye sees? Or is there something beyond the vision? Will knowing the reality change my point of view? Or will I be shocked beyond my wits to feel anything? Will knowing the reality make me happy? Will the reality be comprehensible? Will the reality be the truth? Will I be dead before I discover the reality?

Do comment your thoughts on this. I would love to know them.

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An excerpt from my thoughts.

Consciousness is man’s best friend and worst enemy. Is it really that great to have a conscious mind? Why were we meant for it? Are we even aware of our own consciousness? Are we aware of it’s absence? What does it all really mean? What if we go on living without thinking about it? How are we so different from each other yet so similar? Why is there prejudice amongst us? How are our races relevant when it comes to existence in this world? There is alot that is yet to learn and a lot to unlearn. Yes, unlearn. We need to unlearn certain things when it comes to our credibility as human beings. Knowledge that has been passed to us, since generations, is out dated, to a certain degree in the present world. We need to learn about different cultures, their origin, their present as well as their future.

Considering our life span as an individual and then comparing it with the life span of the galaxy, we’d be existing for a very little period of time. That time is still very important as it amounts to the life span of all the species of humans collectively. Our time on this planet at the present is very crucial especially because this is the era of revolution. This is the time where people have dared to exist. This is the time to make it worth our time.

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A QUESTION

What is success? It is a simple process of evolution. Going from from one point to another without being aware of the moment that you are in and simply thinking about future makes us a robot. Do we identify as robots or do we identify as humans? There is no large scale success. It is simply impossible. Because there is always going to be someone who is better than us. Always. Then how are we going to evaluate ourselves? Why do we evaluate ourselves in comparison to others when there is always going to be someone better? All of our human life is hell bent on outsmarting, out sourcing someone else other than ourselves own. And that’s why life is always chaotic. Let’s just take a moment and think about it. Why are we always restless? Why do we care more about us when someone else is doing better than us. Why do we think how are others doing better than us instead of what is it that we lack? The idea of making mistakes is to learn from them and refrain from repeating them. ‘The quality of mistakes have improved’ should be the thought that should cross our mind instead of simply getting disheartened by them. Existing in this human life form is itself a huge struggle. We don’t have enough resources to sustain us on this planet. Some of us don’t even survive this phenomenon called life. So why are we making it extra complicated by letting these temporary temptations make us carried away. Everyone of us has our own reality. And these temporary temptations are taking us further away from it.

Of course, our standard of living should be evolve from time to time inorder to keep up with the changing times. But at what cost? Simply getting restless about it and not doing anything about it the reason behind our misery. Worrying about future is baseless and useless. What we should put our energy is in finding out ways that would make our life easier. Living in this world is easy as long as we don’t try to live like others. A rose blooms and evolves just like a rose, it does not try to be like a sunflower or lotus. And that’s why we appreciate the beauty of rose, sunflower and lotus as them being themselves. A rose is successful at becoming rose simply because that it’s nature. Similarly if we are true to our own nature we are destined to be successful.

Thank you for reading until here. Do comment on your thoughts about this.

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Thoughts and emotions.

Peas of the same pod. Codependent on each other. Is one really bad than the other? If so, then which one is really bad? Vice? Or virtue? Well, I think both are equally good, or better , both of them are neither bad or good. They just are. They are equally important to function. Humans cannot survive without either of them. Without them a human being would be a hollow piece of matter. A big chunk of our life in this universe exists because of this emotions. Infact I think that emotions must exists for life to thrive. Believe it or not , the so called cheesy and lame emotions are valid and are equally important as are mainstream emotions. The cheesy and lame emotions are important because they teach us in a way to take ourselves seriously which might throw us in a pit of despair. The whole point of these emotions is to keep us from going insane. We must acknowledge and accept ourselves as human beings with both sides of emotional spectrum. It is possible that one side may get heavier than the other and there are chances of things going haywire. But the key here is to be aware of the aware of the moment itself where we feel things going haywire,at least at the beginning itself when one side of emotional spectrum started becoming heavier than the other. As the world famous saying goes, ‘ nothing is permanent’, we must finally start to put it into practice. We may feel one thing about a particular situation in a moment but at the very next moment, we may feel differently about it. And it’s okay. You don’t have to decide at the very moment sometimes and sometimes you need to. So what do you do then? What do you do when a life is dependent on that very decision? You consider every pro and con and then decide despite being nervous about it. Chances of that decision turning in your favor is 50% But you not think about this in the moment. You just make the decision. The whole point of this example is to make you understand that no matter what you do, even you’ve done it after careful consideration of all pros and cons, the outcome might not be in your hand. And this is completely okay. This is a redirection in the sense that you have to find something else to work on. Which would be more suitable for you. After all, life is about going after what satisfies your curiosity without being anxious about it.

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Death-2

This is a continuation of the 2nd blog that I had written couple of weeks ago. In the first part, I wrote about how we should not be afraid of death. Allow me to continue it from there.

The main the reason we should not focus on death is that we have not tried to live yet. I get that that lot of us are influenced by the negativity that is around us but it actually depends on us whether we let it influence us or not. Meaning if we do not respond to the negativity, then this negativity loses its value this becoming ineffective. People are always going to be a variable in each other’s life. And these people are also full of emotions ranging from love to hate. The only difference is which one we feed to. If we decide to get revenge on this negativity that we receive then the reaction as well as the consequence of that reaction is negative itself. Here the problem hasn’t subsided. By not reacting or not responding to the negativity we diminish it’s value and it’s nature in existence. Yes, this is extremely difficult to put in practice but is it a reason to not give a try? I mean the most difficult part of life is living itself, so in my opinion ,changing view of perspective can’t be that difficult.

Stay tuned for part three. Do comment about your thoughts on this. Thank you for reading.

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Abstract.

Does looking at things objectively gives them more sense? If I say that life is meant to be painful, we were supposed to experience the misfortunes that we do, then does that mean that I shouldn’t feel so deeply about the misfortunes and failures? I probably shouldn’t. But I can’t help it. I can’t stop my feelings. No matter what I do I always come back to them. Maybe the idea of ignoring the reactions to what we are feeling is so deeply ingrained in us; though it being wrong, that people don’t take themselves seriously. Seriously in a way that it would help other to be okay with what they are feeling or experience. There is no human being on this planet who doesn’t feel emotions. We all do. We all must. Only then will we be able to understand the concept of Life that is. Emotions aren’t supposed to be categorised into right or wrong or valid or invalid fundamentally. If they are, then it would be purely on the basis of other people’s opinion. If I am allowed to feel the things that I do then what would my existence consist of in reality? If we try to understand ourselves a little better, or atleast, acknowledge the fact that we are humans filled with emotions then we could probably find a solution to intolerance that’s within us. Let’s feel it. Let’s observe it. Let us experience it and lastly let us just be.